I had my non-working day on the Monday. I had swapped it not knowing if we would stay over in Cheddar on the Sunday. In the end, we didn't, and I would have swapped it back but meetings had already been booked in on the Friday.
It was quite nice to have the day off. I felt pretty tired, so while there were a few chores I sorted out, in the main I just sat reading.
There weren't many highlights of the week. I felt really down, but without any obvious cause. It isn't unusual to me, and the best explanation I can offer is that it is hormonal. I think that description does a dis-service the the nuances and details of individual mental health, but equally I don't particularly feel like unpicking it or going deep into exposition.
I didn't take many photos in the week. I do take photos for the sake of capturing something beautiful, or surprising, or interesting i.e. I take them for their own sake. But I do also take them so I can remember a thing I want to write about on here. The girls do get fed up if I am documenting them too much, but I want to capture them in their interest in something, I want to capture joy, mannerisms, rituals, interests. There are so many things that I don't photograph and later I wish I had. The most important thing is to be present in those moments and remember them for themselves. But anyway, I am driveling on...I took a picture of Woo crafting. This week she has been going to the craft room before school, after school, whenever; she was working on making necklaces using acorns to hold little gems and pearls and also making a pair of jeweled wire elf ears.
On Wednesday, Mark was in the office. I went for my usual lunchtime walk, feeling the necessity of it given my low mood and a morning spent hardly moving from my spot as I raced to get everything done. As I was just finishing my walk and heading out of the park towards Park Road, I was startled by yelling and screaming, and the horrible whimpers and howling of a dog in pain. I am no animal lover, but the whole scene that I then realised was in front of me was so distressing. Two women had been talking on the path while their dogs investigated each other. The yells were from both women as one of the dogs then bit the other clearly with some impact. Both dogs were similarly sized, I would have no idea; different breeds of small to middling sized dogs. The whimpers of the injured dog were awful to hear, my head was flooded with pity, and how surprised and helpless and powerless it seemed the dog must feel. The biting dog was already having his lead roughly attached and was already submissive in the face of the rage of it's owner who was pulling him about in her own upset fury. I noticed the abrupt change in realities for this dog, how it must have gone from feeling compelled to bite, and the fight or flight with that, to feeling chastised and perhaps confused and worried. Then beyond that, how the dynamics of the two women had changed so suddenly. Maybe they knew each other, maybe not, but they had gone from polite conversation, probably about the same mundane, accepted topics that came up every time they met a fellow dog walker, to primal reactions. One feeling shock, worry, terror, concern, all their compassion for their wounded pet. The other feeling shock, shame, rage, concern, guilt, maybe defensiveness who knows. I found myself crying as I saw this 30 seconds unfold. I kept on walking back home and was glad to be alone with few calls and work to absorb me.
On Thursday I went into the office. I enjoyed the cycle in. From next week the cycle path will be shut for 8 weeks for essential drainage works. I need to do something else to exercise. I guess doing more running. Because, while an alternate cycle route has been suggested, there is no way I am taking it. It would start in the morning by cycling up the main hill in the area just to come back down and that road is a rat run for cars. It is supposedly "well lit" which seems to be the only thing to recommend it. I will be back on the busses but I will make more of an effort to run when I am not working in town.
We walked into Pill, which I found very pretty with little boats dotted around the place.
As we passed out of the other side of Pill, we passed a recreation ground where a bunch of young men all in their team kit were going through some drills, presumably before starting a match. Ben and I were in animated conversation as we passed behind the pitch through the only obvious route to the onward path. Ben looked across as I made some point or other and I heard him start to yell just before a football directly hit my hand that had been holding up the phone (with battery power source plugged in) to show the route. The ball smacked into the edge of my watch which was driven into my wrist with some force. My phone and charger were knocked to the ground. My reaction was to cry out in pain, and then to yell "F^&£ing Hell!!". My arm really hurt (I have had wrist troubles before). Ben picked up my technology and put it back together while a young man sheepishly jogged over full of apologies. I was friendly and smiled at him saying I was OK. But I then felt compelled to ask "Where you aiming at the goal?!" to which he assured me he was and that he was just a bit rubbish. His teammate offered me some water from the sidelines. I thanked them for that and for apologising, but said I thought it best that we just get out of the way.
The rest of the walk wasn't too troubled by that incident. Tbh, visually this last stretch was the highlight of the whole bridges walk even though we didn't cross a single further bridge. So I soon forgot about it.
The route along the river in the low autumn sun was so pretty and of course no real physical challenge - which was good as we were both getting tired legs, but we were having such a lovely time chatting and being silly.
I thought these were so cute and each one along the route had been given their own little character.
We approached Leigh Woods, which was full of autumn colour.
The sun was starting to set as we walked through Leigh Woods. It isn't a place I have been before, but I feel that is an omission. It was glorious and a lovely end to our day and this walk.
We arrived back at the south end of the Clifton Suspension Bridge as the official end to our walk - mission completed!
We then took a taxi down into Broadmead. We had an idea that we would get some mulled wine at the German market, but it was heaving. I really couldn't stand it, so we walked across to my bus stop where we chatted a bit more until my bus came and then Ben waited for his.
I got home to find a delicious chili waiting for me that was very welcome.
It was a bright autumn day. There was something compelling about the colours out of the window.
We walked down to the end of the bridge we had finished with in October (31. Ashton Avenue Bridge)
(I liked this bird)
And from here we rejoined the route to head to our next bridge and first of the day...
32 - Avon Bridge.
I was particularly fascinated by the circular pillars supporting the roadway to the bridge.
They had been covered in street art, and the way they receded off into the distance gave it more of a feel of a gallery than that they were there to serve a structural function.
We walked across the bridge enjoying the views across to the Clifton Suspension Bridge.
The silver morning light was beautiful, so already there was a lot of photo taking.
We crossed no. 33 - South Entrance Lock Bridge. I felt quite nervous of it, like it could just collapse and we would fall into the deep mud below.
I liked the angles and views underneath
34 - South Entrance Lock Walkway was next, which was pretty unassuming but still gave great opportunity for taking in the morning sky.
We circled back around to get onto 35 - Plimsoll Bridge. I loved the shape of these spiral staircases and how they interacted with the vegetation that was taking them over.
At the top of the stairs was a control booth, presumably for when it was necessary to open the bridge to allow boats through.
Coming down the other side, we weren't sure if these 2 lock bridges counted, they weren't on the map and I guess didn't constitute bridges and were only a part of the lock structure.
Following along by the lock caused us to have to vault a small fence...I don't think Ben was particularly chuffed with my interest in documenting this also.
but in this light, any photo opportunity was of interest to me.
We climbed up towards Clifton, getting quite warm already. We passed the Clifton Suspension bridge and followed the route on the north side of the river. The observatory is a great place for photos, but I did still find it quite nerve wracking up there and was glad as we started to walk away towards the Downs.
There were far fewer bridges on the route for this weekend, but the walk was varied and lovely in itself. We were following a trail that ran parallel to the Portway (the route of the A4 out to Avonmouth). It passed through deciduous woodland and along flood planes by the river.
It was a while before we got to bridge 38 - Portway Viaduct.
I found it surprising how big the bridge was given how small the river that passed under it was, but as it was low tide, there was probably quite a range to accommodate.
We came down and then under the bridge where we could get a better view of it, and then under the railway bridge back towards the bank of the river.
As we followed the route back inland a little, I was still interested to see the street art. I think this intrigued me with how desolate the spot was. Maybe that gave the originator more time to work, but I did like the care and attention given to something that surely few people would see. I couldn't figure out what is said though...
After a wander through the burbs of Sea Mills we came back out by the river towards Shirehampton and found a good bench in the sun where we could have our pack-up. In the distance was our next bridge no.37 - Avonmouth Road Bridge.
The published route followed the bank of the river, but we took a detour up into Shirehampton to find a loo (Co-Op petrol station with Costa coffee machine to at least have bought something).
The Avonmouth Road Bridge was imposing and tall. Approaching it, it didn't seem possible that there would be a way up, it almost felt like we would be required to climb a rope or ladder to get there. I just generally was not feeling good about this bridge.
We found a set of stairs and ascended to the pathway. The sun was beating down by now, so we had a quick rearrange of coats and bags.
I really didn't like it, properly scary and unpleasant. It was high up, I knew that, and I had been thinking about the Humber Bridge that I grew up crossing. I think I could have managed the height better if it were not for the noise. On the Humber Bridge, the walkway is lower than the road, furthermore the Humber Bridge is only 2 lanes each way and limited to 50mph. We were right next to 6 lanes of 70mph+ cars and trucks.
Just as we were getting to the end and I was starting to relax a bit, 4 mopeds raced past us causing us to have to jump right up against the barrier.
It was another busy day trying to cram everything in. I was ready just after 5pm to meet Ben and cycle home - now in the dark. I wouldn't really have minded the dark even if Ben wasn't there cycling behind. The path is well used, but perhaps it was also the mood I was in.
I worked at home on Friday. It was a real battle with WiFi and given I had a lot of meetings I spent most of it sitting in the front room on the sofa with my laptop using the cable for internet. It was not a comfortable day. A big part of the problem was disparity in download vs upload speed. Internet providers advertise download speeds and ours wasn't disappointing - I was getting 60Mbps download while plugged in...but only 1.something Mbps upload speed. Download is what you need for streaming, watching endless cat videos etc. but to work at home and be on video calls and save your work to the network - you have to have upload. Mark made some enquiries, at one point coming in with a note telling me that someone had driven into the local network cabinet. I don't think this made me feel much better disposed to our internet provider, but anyway.
As I neared the end of work on Friday, I did feel my mood lift a little. As I clawed my way through my last task, with the smell of lasagna and homemade garlic bread wafting in, it was much easier to let go of some of the hardness that had formed around me from earlier in the week. We all camped out in the front room to continue with our Marvel marathon. This time it was Dr Strange. One that had passed me by entirely. I could see why it hadn't been a big hit, but I did still enjoy it and some of the odd themes and ideas it contained.
I was up fairly early on Saturday: the planned day for part 2 of the Bristol Bridges walk. We picked up Ben and then Mark drove us into town, dropping us off where he had picked us up at Grenville Smithe park.
I got some updates from Mark. He had taken the girls into town on the bikes, they had had brunch, then gone to the Bristol Museum and Bunnykin's favourite cafe in some old loos up by the University (they really are very nice old public loos!)
It was such a relief to get onto the footpath, and almost immediately the sounds calmed and reduced. It wasn't just the absolute noise, but also that the noises that remained didn't feel like they were being drilled into my head.
I was getting pretty hungry and tired and was glad to share/steal Ben's Nik-Naks.
On Sunday we didn't get up to much. I cut Mark's hair (he was pleased with it despite the expression on the "after" image).
After lunch, he, Bunnykins, and I had a walk around the park.
John called in the afternoon and we had a good catch up. It is always good to talk, he does make me chuckle with his camera work though sometimes!
It is funny having a normal length weekend, doesn't feel right! But it was certainly a good one and I am glad to have got the Bristol Bridges walk completed and be able to write off for our badges.
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