Week 10 Bit more Birthday and half term

Week 10 Bit more Birthday and half term

I ended my last post feeling rather low on my birthday morning. The day itself didn't really improve and I spent quite a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. I should have also taken the day off work - but i didn't - live and learn. I felt sorry for my self inflicted working state (though the following day I didn't have enough to do so ended up taking the afternoon off anyway - d'oh). 

Hannah had said she would come up to share some birthday fizz, and boy was she what I needed! We sat in the park for an hour or so, shared a bottle of prosecco (we brought our own glasses - I know mine is huge - but in all fairness it had been a present from Hannah last year so she could hardly complain 😜😂). We talked, complained, laughed and talked some more. 

She bought me some lovely presents

including a useful badge:

I felt thoroughly cheered by the time we had finished. Being able to spend time with my friends is really something I am thoroughly grateful for and miss when I can't.

The post has been quite affected during lockdown. I don't say that in a complaining way - I am grateful that we can still get post. It's just one of those things to comment on, again realising how much you take these normal services for granted. Posties are doing great work to keep things moving. But indeed, people have sent stuff and it taken a lot longer to arrive than expected. I got a lovely card from Claire and her family.    

A present from Ben arrived the day after my birthday. When I saw him last week he gave me one part of my present, which was a t-shirt. But not any old t-shirt. It was a t-shirt that I had originally bought for him from the charity shop, though at the time I was conflicted and wanted to keep it for myself. I gave it to him and he loved it too, but every time he wore it I probably said something like "oh I wish I'd kept that" 😄 anyway, because he's so kind, or perhaps because he was fed up of hearing it - he gave me the t-shirt for my birthday😂😍. It's now at least 3rd hand, but it's all the more special. The best presents aren't about how much money someone has spent, they are about how much thought the person has put into giving you something that they feel you would value. Maybe it's not about "how much thought" like as if they spend days and days thinking about it that makes a better present. Maybe someone knows you really well and they figure it out as quick as sneezing. I mean it's just about feeling that that person knows you. Anyway, to conclude another rambling thought, the present that arrived was a bookmark from an exhibition that Ben and I had been to (I can't now remember if it was 2018 or 2019) of tapestries by Grayson Perry. The exhibition was at Bristol museum and was really only one room but we spent so long on each tapestry; looking at the detail, the colour, talking about the story and how we related to it. And I really did relate to it. It was all about class and the hero of his tapestry was a man who had fought to "move up" in the world and tried to fit in. That is a simplistic telling. There was this one tapestry (that the bookmark has a sliver from) that hit me hard as it was showing the hero in his kitchen and all the trappings he had around him in his attempt to disguise himself as someone who belonged in that world. I looked around and saw all my own things and I felt like there was this spotlight on my life; like I had been found out. I also felt strangely comforted by the picture too because of how familiar it was. It was such a contradiction. So yes, it may be just a bookmark - but opening it and being taken right back to that moment of standing infront of the tapestry; that feels like a lovely gift from a person who knows me. 

Oh and late on, on the day of my birthday I realised that I had had this card from Mush via e-mail. I want to put it in as it is a lovely picture and reminds me of a great day. We had gone to centre parcs in 2018, which became a Mummies' tradition. Mush and I got there early on the Friday and spent a while hanging around playing pool and messing about taking selfies - before realising that we could have been in the pool the whole time. We quickly got to the pool and spent the whole time on the new slides which were terrifying, but I laughed and screamed so much it was flipping euphoric. By the time everyone else arrived the queues were much longer, but we'd just been sliding and then running straight back up - we were knackered!

My birthday (Tuesday) had also been a wash out as far as trying to motivate the girls to do anything. They were on half term this week so no school work, but we got them up at 8am and I had tried to motivate them to have a walk (on Tuesday) and I wanted to do some craft. 

Well I tried again on Wednesday. This time I suggested drawing and thought we could all go out to the garden to draw, or do some colouring or whatever, but I thought it would be nice to sit together and do some activity. Bunnykins scattered back to her tent (where she lived throughout the whole of half term) and said she would do some colouring in there. Woo, wanted to do some drawing from her imagination - which is fine by me - but went to sit separately. So I got out my sketch book and looked around for something to draw.

I did A-level art; not that that means anything. I could have chosen art as my subject to study at university. I had some skill, but I felt that I didn't have enough drive to make it a career. I felt like I would end up doing dog portraiture (and I am no fan of animals) in order to pay the bills. I went for engineering instead. I have always had a sense of purpose with engineering - which I realise is important, and I am glad I made that choice. I still have that creative part of me that loves to make and sketch and create - I just know it is not something I could live on.

Anyway, I went looking for a subject and decided on flowers. I had thought I would do a watercolour but didn't want to do something twee and predictable. The poppies were calling - but I could see a hundred versions of a poppy watercolour trot through my mind and I was already bored by it. 

I love peonies; they are so full and lush. I sat wondering how I could capture it. I realised that the challenge was that there are so many lines and points of detail - but mainly lines. A favourite technique I always liked was drawing straight into pen. It forces you to look. Looking properly is one of the key challenges of drawing. You don't have to represent exactly what you see, as you see it. However, I think it is so important to see it properly. A way I have demonstrated to the girls about this in the past is to point out maybe a plain wall and ask them: if they were painting that in a picture - what colour would they paint it? 'Cos they know me, they most likely give me the answer that I would give myself 😄 but often people might say "white" (say if it was a white painted wall), but then if you look at that wall you probably see that it is actually a shade of grey, maybe with clear shadows, maybe the colour of something is reflected off onto it, maybe some creamy sunlight is lit across it. There may be scuff marks and dirt. Very rarely is it a white wall. If you can see those things then you can choose to exaggerate and emphasise them, represent them faithfully, or still not include them. But it is so important to see those things first. I find drawing with pen slows you down to have to do that.

As I started on it, I realised that I liked the idea of lots of lines - filling the whole page. I could have added colour over the top to emphasise the peony - but liked it as it was. I hope I get round to doing something similar soon. 

The girls were still busy in their own worlds, so I sewed the button on the skirt Hannah had given me. Funnily enough she had also given me a 3rd hand piece of clothing - something that she had bought for herself but then thought that it would suit me better. Given how long the skirt was - I tend to agree. Hannah said she put it on, stepped on the hem, a button flew off and she decided to give it to me 😂 - well I love it! Indeed it would go nicely with my birthday t-shirt...

Or with this t-shirt:

Just a few doors down from us lives Lee the rock legend. He fronts and runs the ACDC tribute band Hells Bells. I am friends with him on facebook and on my birthday it turned out he posted about having Hells Bells t-shirts for sale. I recently had been looking absently at some rock band t-shirts and thinking how cool they would look with a floral skirt but how I had no connection to them so would feel like a real phoney. I mean I have never really been into the Who or pink floyd or whoever. But while I am not listening to Hells Bells generally - I do like the fact that I am advertising them and I know the band! In addition, I regularly exclaim "Hells Bells!" so it seemed perfect and I contacted Lee to do a quick doorstep trade. A final note, is that it is black. I have long time had a rule not to wear black. This is because being tall I tended to find that the "tall sized" version of most things would not come in the same range of colours that they would for normal sized people - they would only come in black because that of course is the main standard colour that all women want to wear...😐😕 - so that was my protest - I just refused to wear black. I love wearing colour. Colour and pattern and a bit more pattern - ideally clashing. But I finally broke my rule for my Grandma's funeral last year. I wanted to buy new shoes for the funeral - my Grandma would always say "more new shoes!!" in a funny exaggerated voice when we went to see her; so much so that we would be giddy with delight if we actually did have more new shoes. I found a pair of slip on vans in black with a chintzy floral pattern that I knew she would have loved - her sofas, cushions, bathroom wall - I always remember just being covered in flowers. They didn't arrive in time in the end. But they are still shoes for my Grandma. That is when I broke my rule and nowadays I feel more relaxed. Though I will stick to the principal and if you ever see me in a pair of plain black trousers - suspect that I have been brainwashed or have an evil twin.

Anyway, the reason I had taken the pictures above was actually because of the skirt. I wrote about it on the last post. It's such a great skirt, but the lack of pockets was disappointing. So I decided on the Wednesday to whip myself up some pockets. That is what I did with my afternoon off, and very worthwhile it was too.

I finished off the day (clearly in a different skirt) reading a book that I had got for my birthday. No idea who the sender was, but it is a great book. I have only recently discovered the poetry of David Whyte but I am a big fan. 

 This book isn't his poetry, it is mini-essays (2 to 3 pages) about a particular word. Each essay is very thought provoking, like straight in with this one on anger. "Anger is the deepest form of care, for another, for the world, for the self, for a life, for the body, for a family and for all our ideals, all vulnerable and all, possibly, about to be hurt."

 I was really struck by that. I thought about the recent times when I had been angry and of course it feels like such a negative, destructive emotion and it can be. However, it stems out of caring. It comes from wanting to protect something. I was struck by how I had not seen that link before. I was also struck by this link to vulnerability. Anger can be about not wanting to be vulnerable, so again it is protective. But when we look at what it is we want to protect or what our vulnerability is instead of the focus of our rage - I think that can be massively revealing and helpful to finding a way of moving past anger.


I spent some time, reading each slowly - working over the words and finding understanding before I skipped on. I struggle to retain what I read often. I feel this is a book I will keep coming back to.

On Thursday morning, we set out for a walk. I had prepped the girls the night before to suggest it, and to say that we would be best going out earlier to avoid people and avoid the heat of the day. So by 9am we were on the cycle path which fortunately wasn't so busy.

We only followed that route for a while before heading off towards Rodway common and the surrounding wild areas. This is where Woo and Mark go running so she was keen to show us the way.

Right up to the "sunset spot" up in the ferns on the hill.

After meeting a few too many dog walkers Woo took us off back away from the common for a scramble around the woods.

 It could have almost been tropical forest as the heat of the morning was rising.

I didn't mean to take this one, but I like the canopy above so I thought I would stick it in!

We walked back and stopped at the hatch in the park to get drinks or cakes. Then came back to do a bit of crafting in the shade. I had bought some tiny terracotta plant pots so that the girls could use their polymer clay to make succulents for the dolls house.

I was allowed to make one too, and I made a rose to go in a pot:

Friday was a long day. Mark was off work but it was my last day working for a while. I have been furloughed as I posted about on May 18th. I had a late meeting with an international client, then a few tasks to tidy up from that, so wasn't finished until gone 5:30pm - everyone else had already eaten tea! We were going to watch a film but the girls were still in the middle of watching something so Mark and I sat in the back sharing some prosecco. 

I was talking about an idea I have for the deck. When we worked out there on Thursday we did so because it was good solid shade and had a table, but the area itself is dismal. The rest of the garden is lovely, but no one wants to stay on the deck. It is also the place where you most easily see and can be seen by the neighbours - who are nice and all - but still. 

When we had first built it, we had put up a rail around which was good as the girls were little and they could play out there, but not be off into the rest of the garden. Mark was saying about how the rail supports were rotting and it needed either taking down or replacing. I had also been saying about how I have been on this facebook group called "view from my window" and people post views from all around the globe - well some of them are from ridiculously fancy places, but I realised how often I was drawn to quite simple covered porches. I like the idea of having a covered outdoor space that you can sit out in the rain or in cooler weather and feel a little sheltered. 

I talked about my ideas for a roof over the area and to just generally make it feel more comforting - some greenery, pots, nicer furniture with cushions, maybe fairy lights and a way to screen off next door. Mark checked that taking down the railing would be in keeping with the idea and no sooner had I agreed - he was out there taking the thing down. He is always a rather Carpe Diem kind of chap!

 Also note in the background - Bunnykin's residence for the week! She slept out every night from the Friday half term started until the Saturday night.

Didn't get up to much on Saturday, though Mark was working into a frenzy of jobs - putting in an outdoor socket, replacing rotten wood on the deck and clearing out his garage and pva-ing the floor. I took a picture of the strawberries....

 In the afternoon I walked down to see Hannah taking my big glass and a bottle of prosecco with me.

From Monday 6 people will be allowed to meet outside as long as they distance. This was supposed to be just Hannah and I, but Martha and Jason were drawn to the shade of the tree. It was lovely to see them all and Jason made some fine pimms for us 😀.

Some stellar photography by Martha - who was primarily taking selfies of herself until we realised.

 On the way home I picked up fish and chips for us all and passed this rock display. I love how people are finding little ways to bring a bit of light into other people's lives and just do something to make others smile.

I finished the book that I had started the day previous. I bought it for myself for my birthday. The BBC did an adaptation which I enjoyed, I enjoyed the book even more. There was lots of interesting details of the relationship that I felt they hadn't interpreted in the TV show. I tend to read alot of non fiction and often quite serious books but sometimes it is good to just tear through something and get immersed in it. 

On Sunday morning, Mark and Jason were out early for a 24k run. I got up and did a first coat of floor paint to the garage floor (the garage not to be confused with the workshop - this is the bit at the end - Mark's domain really). 

 Then I went out to the breakfast bench for a little breakfast before online yoga at 10am.

It's a lovely spot at that time in the morning. 

Mark and Jason had a lovely time together - they do enjoy such similar pursuits. Hannah and I are always grateful that it means that we will never be asked to do a 24k run...

Woo had had her phone confiscated since Thursday (let's not immortalize the details of why...), she was doing well finding things to entertain herself and had been reading and doing some painting by numbers. She also helped me with further coats of the garage floor. 

We had been talking to both girls earlier and they had been saying about how they don't read aloud so much any more. We thought it was a good idea to practice some reading aloud maybe with some poems. Woo asked if I would come out to the deck and we read some poems together including a favourite of mine by Sylvia Plath called "You're" which made me cry as I always associate it with the girls.

I liked Woo's choice of poems and her reading of them was lovely.

I then tried to read another of my birthday books but just ended up snoozing - which is no terrible thing. 

The week ahead is new territory with not working. I will need to plan out how I am going to keep busy, but I have a feeling that won't be hard. We'll see how it goes.

You’re

BY SYLVIA PLATH

Clownlike, happiest on your hands,   

Feet to the stars, and moon-skulled,   

Gilled like a fish. A common-sense   

Thumbs-down on the dodo’s mode.   

Wrapped up in yourself like a spool,   

Trawling your dark as owls do.   

Mute as a turnip from the Fourth   

Of July to All Fools’ Day,

O high-riser, my little loaf.

Vague as fog and looked for like mail.   

Farther off than Australia.

Bent-backed Atlas, our traveled prawn.   

Snug as a bud and at home   

Like a sprat in a pickle jug.   

A creel of eels, all ripples.   

Jumpy as a Mexican bean.   

Right, like a well-done sum.   

A clean slate, with your own face on.