Week 21

Monday

Did my run. It was pretty muggy out, but I actually felt pretty good and even did an enthusiastic fast last section. Sorted out the blog and printed out directions for our holiday, then got on with sorting out the washing and did some yoga. I got a shower and came down to find Bunnykins making some trophies for her guys.

The cupboards were pretty bare, I looked out the window and there wasn't much of a queue at the cafe, so we went over for lunch.

Got the cleaning done in the afternoon and then had a go at setting up an automatic watering system for my pot plants while we're away. The big box outside our kitchen window isn't a hot tub as some people might think; it is a large rainwater collection tank. It has a pump so that it can be used for watering the garden. There is a hose connection off that used to go to automatic watering on the vegetable beds. We cut into the hosepipe for that and I got my timer valve working. It is gravity fed so not a huge flow; there are trickle valves that can be placed along the pipe to water points along it. Balancing it though so the water gets to the end is quite a delicate operation and I think I will still be fiddling with it until we go!

Thunderstorms had been forecast, but didn't materialise, so we were on for UkuleleLand practice at Kevan's which was a lot of fun. We had a go at the Kirsty MacColl one which sounded pretty good.

As we left the sky was beautiful.

And it was beautiful when I got home. I wandered around on my road, just staring up and taking a few pictures.

Tuesday

Did my walking workout then went to wake up the girls and give them a water bottle. Bunnykins was in bed knitting! She was making another blanket for her Lottie dolls. This one is from a lovely yarn that knits up into this pattern. I thought it was looking really good. Her consistency is really improving.

Karen is away at the moment. It is odd also as there are people coming every day to view the house. We smile at them when we see them. It is such an odd parade of potential...I don't know the right word. I mean neighbours would be pretty specific, but Karen and Matt have become good friends. And while we haven't always been besties with neighbours - we have always got to know whoever was on each side. At number 5 we've had a good few chats over the fence and Woo has got together a bag of things to give the kids from toys and books they have cleared out. For a long time it was rented to different people, but we still invited people over at Christmas and got to know them briefly. Or dropped a card over to say hello and give our number. Anyway, my point is we keep seeing all these potential...people that may come into our lives. Mainly young couples so far. Mark and I moved in here before we had kids. Mark was trying to work out when it was. The blog says...we moved in in November 2004....so 16 years ago ish. At that point there was another Karen and Mark (I think) at no.7 - they had grown up kids and often invited us over for dinner (our place was a mess!). Then on the other side was Caron and Paul who had 3 daughters. Karen and Matt moved into no.7 not long before their second daughter (who is a year younger than Woo) was born.

The road has a good scattering of younger families and then some lifers...people who have lived here longer than they remember and will stay here. Whoever it is who moves in, it will be odd.

Anyway, did my yoga. Tried another, quite challenging one. I don't particularly like them being called yoga for weight loss...but I don't think I am in much danger of loosing weight from doing these. Pruned the roses, sorted out the washing. Got a quick shower and then rounded up the girls to help me. We took a bag of clothes each to the Red Cross Shop to donate. While there we had a look at DVDs for the trip and then also across in the PDSA charity shop. We found a few. It was already really hot, so we came straight back. No idea how the girls managed to keep going wearing jumpers!

Bunnykins asked me to help finish off her blanket. She's not so sure with casting on and casting off. But I don't think it will be long before she's got it sussed.

The rest of the day felt like it got wasted with just messing around. Thing is, it all needed doing. There was some ironing (for holiday stuff), sorting out the shopping list for Mark getting the groceries that evening and then packing up the food stuff we already had in. Sorting out what books I was going to take. Making the bed. Making the tea. Mark went off to the shops and I did the mopping which I hadn't done the day before. I would normally speak to John but he wasn't available. He'd messaged on Monday and said that he'd been to see Mum. She was entirely unresponsive. He was upset by it. It isn't surprising, though equally if he wasn't upset I wouldn't judge. It gets hard to feel sometimes.

I sat and read my book. The day had been scorching. Storms had been forcast but nothing came of it. It just got hotter and hotter. The sky was beautiful again and there was a scent in the air of the sweet, warm sap of the trees. I remember first smelling this when I got off a coach late at night in France, I was quite young, younger than Bunnykins I'm sure. We were on route somewhere, I think I was with my family heading to Spain. It was dark, but the air was so warm and there was this sweet smell; sugary, but so feint as almost not to be real. I just kept breathing it deeper in like I wanted to find it and understand what it was. Whenever I smell it now, I have to stop and take big lungfulls. I know how fleeting it will be, I can't capture it, I don't really know what it is. I just have to make the most of it when I find it.

Mark and I watched our standard two Buffys with half a cider each full of ice. We went off to bed about 10:30. Over on the horizon we could see lightening. There were loads of flashes as to almost be constant...still I couldn't manage to actually get a picture of it.

Mark reckoned it was about 30 miles away. We couldn't hear it. I said I felt like Jean de Florrette looking at the storms on the horizon and cursing - why not here!!?

Maybe a tad dramatic...but it was hot! What can I say?!

Wednesday

What a surprise...woke up and it was still hot... I reluctantly went for my run. It being already into the 20s temperature wise I got pretty sweaty. But I made it all the way round and even did my fast run at the end.

I had a wander around the park to let my heart rate come down. I always like to wander past the bandstand and smell the roses. These smell so pungent. It makes me think of peaches - but I am sure that is the effect of the colour on my brain more than anything. I didn't use any special filter on my phone or the flash. The glow comes from the rose reflecting the morning sun which seemed just wonderful.

Had breakfast and sorted out some things on the computer. Then checked in with the girls and their packing. Mark had all the downstairs doors (bar the front door) open, so it was definitely cooler downstairs at the back of the house. I did my yoga standing at the back door. As soon as I got started (wearing only my sports bra and shorts), my neighbour Maiko came out to water her plants. I decided to just go with it, despite feeling a little self conscious. I got pretty sweaty (or sweatier) so I was glad for the relaxation bit at the end.

Woo watered my plants for me, while I went to hang out the washing.

I had a shower, came out still sweating. Packed up my clothes and got on with more general packing tasks. The packing was a bit stressy...first off...hot...second....it's really hot...but aside from feeling like I didn't want any clothes whatsoever - packing can be a bit of a trial. I tend to over plan, think about all the risks, all the things that could happen - until my head is a swirl of all these possible needs. Once I have everything tamed - first on a list, and then actually visible in front of me - I can feel much calmer. But then often I start stressing about the amount we are packing and will it fit in and just feeling weighed down by all this stuff!

Bunnykins is a packing savant...for a good few years now - she is always super organised in advance, she writes up her own little list to the point of being able to tell you how many t-shirts she has packed and how many pants. You can't catch her out with something she has missed and things that I tend to pack "centrally" i.e. I tend to grab everyone's goggles and put them in a bag - she's already got hers packed. One day I will sub the task out to her completely.

It isn't helped by the covid stuff meaning that alot of things have (sensibly) been removed from the rented accommodation to make cleaning easier. But we are also going 3 different places and doing different things and the weather will be different in each. I feel like I am packing the house!!

Also, there is a part of me that doesn't want to leave my cosy little nest. I don't want to go out into the world. I know we're going places that are quiet and away from others. Even then I want to stay where I am safe. I know it's crazy and I'll have a great time. Just saying it's how I feel 🤷‍♀️.

As I write this, we are almost packed. But still a few jobs to do. I need to go out and fill up the car with fuel. Drop some stuff to next door and make sure the computer is set up so everyone can log on. I had better get on with it!!!

Thursday

I hate packing...have I said that?... Thursday morning I got up and got dressed. Got the girls up and getting breakfast. Mark had already started with his "mania"...he is always so keen to get things in the car he regularly starts taking stuff away before I have finished packing, but he was good to get going this time. Thing is, it ended being pretty spot on in terms on what we could fit in versus the space we had...nevertheless...getting to the point of finding how it would all fit in was pretty fraught as I wondered what we could sacrifice ...though a couple of the 3 pairs of running trainers that Mark was taking was where I would start. I guess he might cull my yoga mat and hiking boots as a first pass. Anyway, in the end it all went in and we were away by 9.30am.

The journey was easy going, though I found it quite upsetting as I picked up some pretty horrible messages from a person I know who is having a bad time and who I have tried to help. They were in a manic place and spewing abuse at me for not understanding them and because I said I was going on holiday and asked for some space from messaging with them (which they interpreted as "silencing" them). I didn't respond. There is no point defending myself, they are not seeing logic. Any response from me will just be a catalyst for more anger and keeps me in the messaging loop...which is what I asked for a break from. I am none of the things they accused me of and it hurts to feel wrongly accused. But there is no place for logic in this kind of thing. They wanted to shout and scream and yell at me and show me all their pain. I get that and in the past I have been there for them and managed to be objective and detached enough to keep going, while caring for them and listening. But sometimes you just need your own space to breathe. It's funny, as there are other friends of mine that are struggling, but it is no bother at all to check in with them - I always want to do it. At first it used to be like that with this person. They needed me alot, but in the end it wasn't consensual in terms of the balance. They wanted and sought out more than I was prepared to give. I think this is the biggest problem in the dynamic and has caused me to need to actively retreat. Any relationship is a continually changing transaction: what do I want, what will I give, what will I put up with? and then how does this fit with what you want, what you will give and what you will put up with? If it doesn't mesh then the relationship cannot go forward as it is. I think also, I have been here before in other relationships where my autonomy in making decisions for myself about my time and energy have become a point of contention as the other person has all the ideas about what I should do, what I should be like and how bad and wrong I am for not being or giving what they want.

So, that all being said I was in quite a perturbed state. I kept going back to conversations in my head where I would say all the perfect things. With someone this far off reality - that is easy to do - win an argument in your head I mean. But it doesn't do any good. You come to an hour later and you have been gnashing your teeth, your body pumped with adrenaline and cortisol and nothing has changed. I have been here before. It requires mindfulness. Each time I find myself in these conversations I have to acknowledge it, then gently push it away. Tell myself "there is no need for justifications", and then move back to the present moment. It takes quite a bit of mental energy. It was nice to have Mark to chat there with about whatever, and I did get there eventually where I felt much calmer.

We arrived at our AirBnB at about 2.15pm. It was a little barn in the North Yorkshire Dales. Our host is Jon, who seems a lovely chap. He lives in the main house and our barn is like a granny annex to it. We had a look around including chilling out on the outdoor seating area.

After settling in we decided to go for a walk. There is a viaduct walk near here and we thought we would walk it on Friday, but it would be nice to figure out the starting point and get our bearings.

As we walked back up the lane there was an impressive murmuration overhead - this picture does it no justice.

Back in the barn, I read a while and everyone else played cards.

The barn has a cinema room with football table, so we had a go at that.

Then after tea we settled down to watch Jumanji on the big screen. It is a big screen, but quite a small room. The sofa is only 2-person so I was on a bean bag on the floor and Mark sat on a stool.

Friday

Mark got up early and went for a run around the route we had planned the night before. I woke up about 6.30am and went to set out breakfast. I lazed about too long though before starting my yoga as just as I got going - Mark was back and then Woo was up an wanting to be in the kitchen. It was a bit cold and windy outside for yoga and the kitchen was the only place with ceilings high enough.

We had breakfast and packed up stuff for the day, then set of on our route. We had planned a route about 17km round.

It is a beautiful part of the country. Not just in the visual. But people are noticeably friendlier. I guess it is seeing less people. We had walked through this farm yard on a right of way the evening before. This morning a team of about 6 were dipping the sheep. An older guy waved at us cheerily when he saw us and came over to describe the alternate route. This isn't the only tale of friendliness, on the following day when we stopped in the town an old chap was wandering past and he just stopped to have a little chinwag. Woo looked amazed and said "no one would do that in Bristol!". Later while we were cycling Mark and Woo were stopped at a junction waiting for us and a couple stopped on their bikes; as Bunnykins and I pulled up they were chatting about routes and bike choices and where we were all from. Anyway.

We got onto the viaduct walk. The sky was overcast, but it was mild. The path all along had all sorts of wildflowers. I was holding everyone up by stopping to take photos every 2 minutes.

I really needed a wee, this was obviously a great moment for the rest of TeamChallis to climb up onto high ground so I could find no hiding place.

In the end I had to admit defeat and climb up too, I had a wee with a grand view.

The girls climbed into some old lime kilns. Bunnykins was impressive with her climbing in. I think her yoga (that she just gets on with in her room) is paying off and she just sprung up there, while Woo had struggled getting her leg up high enough.

We carried on to the viaduct, which was supposedly closed as one of the rails was damaged, but we were assured that if you walk in the middle it was perfectly safe.

Melancholy thistle...it is a rare wildflower and a haunting name

Along the way there were also wild rasberries.

I think this was a bloody cranesbill...

picking rasberries

The girls spotted a potential detour. We checked it out on OS maps app and it seemed OK. It was pretty, but ended up being a bit of a bad idea with us climbing through a barbed wire fence after the path completely ran out/dissapeared.

We made it back to the path and then down to a ford.

We took a 2km detour along another path that we hoped would get us to a nice spot along the river. In the end it was all fenced off and then the path became completely overgrown. We walked back to the ford as we knew from there we could walk the next bit along the road. We found a little island rock to sit and have our lunch.

We had brought the girls water shoes so they could have a paddle.

Though we hadn't brought a towel or changes of clothes. Shortly after this photo was taken, Bunnykins slipped and fell in...

She was OK, but soaked. Fortunately we had had a debate in the morning about whether she should wear shorts or her leggings. I had suggested that to break the impasse, I could carry her shorts in my bag. I also had my jumper which I wasn't feeling the need of and it fit her surprisingly well. So the spare clothes situation would have been splendid...sadly as she was putting her shoes and socks on - one shoe and sock fell off a rock and into the river... She walked the rest of the way home (8km at least) with a wet foot.

So at this point, she was decidedly unhappy. We altered the route a little to avoid going over a hill and make it a little more direct. It was still feeling like a long way at this point with two quite tired little bears.

I ended up walking quite a fair way with Bunnykins weight on me. I also got out my walking playlist from when I had done my marathon walk last year.

My favourite was when that Sigor Ros song Hippipolla, that the BBC always use for dramatic scenery came on. It always reminds Mark and I of Scunthorpe.

We made it back and got the wood burner going so that we could dry off Bunnykins' stuff.

We finished off the evening with some Star Wars. The house had the full box set. There was some debate about what order to watch them in, but we went for starting with the classic and episode IV.

Saturday

Saturday started as a beautiful morning. But on the horizon was some really peculiar cloud. You might need to open the photo to see in more detail. It looked like something that an alien craft might fly out of just before it blew up the White House. It was infact some cloud that was clung to the side of the hill in the distance. It stayed on that hill all day but we were barely troubled by a cloud. Turned out my friend Sharon was in the area and she saw it too.

We had arranged to hire electric bikes from our host Jon. At about 10am we went out to get kitted up and sort out the seat heights.

Bunnykins was really unsure about the whole thing. The electric bikes kick in when you start peddling to assist you. You can change the level of assist. But she was really not happy about her perceived lack of control. Mark and Woo sped off. I was trying my best to support and encourage. Bunnykins is very confident on her bike normally, but on the first downhill she got off and walked down it. I could tell she was really unsure and afraid. I was pleased that she was continuing at all tbh. When we came to a big uphill Mark had come back and I left him to encourage her up (which she found far easier going uphill because she felt more in control). I loved the uphill - just dial up the assist and there is no problem getting up any hill.

It was such beautiful countryside. I just loved it. The roads were really quiet also. You could just glide along and appreciate the view.

Woo took to it easily. We set off towards the tarn and I could hear her yelling behind me that I was too slow, so I told her to just go on and wait for us at the tarn.

Bunnykins not loving it so much...

We stopped at the tarn and had our pasties and shortbread as it was past 11am and we were already quite hungry.

We were doing a route to the village of Orton where there was a cafe and chocolate factory.

Just outside of Orton the road got quite pot-holey. Bunnykins rode through quite a big one and was absolutely fine, but shaken. She was adamant she was going no further. I managed to get her down to the ouskirts. A fairly main road ran through it up to the main part of town - she was going nowhere near it. But I had a quick check on the map - there was a much quieter lane with a pretty little stream that ran along side it. We followed this and got to this verge which was really the bitter end for Bunnykins..."I'm only moving now to go home!!!". I suggested we stopped there. Mark laid out on the blanket to look after the bikes while the girls and I walked to the cafe to get drinks and cake.

Mark then walked into the town to the chocolate factory to pick up some chocs for us, while we messed about by the stream.

The cycle home wasn't as open as the route there, but it was still super pretty and I loved the whole experience. I think even Bunnykins was softening to the whole thing and was completely in her stride with downhills as well as uphills.

Mark went off to Kirkby Stephen to get us a takeaway. I got the fire going as it was quite cold in the barn despite the sunny day - the walls being over a meter thick.

He had half an hour to kill so explored Kirkby Stephen a little.

Arriving home with our food!!!

The girls washed up, which had become the habit thankfully.

We had some chocolates.

Then settled in for part V.

Sunday

After two fairly physical days I wanted to chill out a bit on Sunday. The weather was also really damp and overcast. Woo was bored so I suggested we fired up the playstation. Mark and Woo started to battle on streetfighter.

Then Bunnykins joined in. Later we would have a family streetfighter tournament which Woo won, I came second. Mark and I used to play street fighter loads way back when. I was always Chun Lei...what other choice did you have as a girl? I was still pretty awesome now thanks 😁😜😂.

We had lunch and then set out for a smaller walk as the rain had eased off.

We went back along the viaduct walk and then off to a spot where were could get near a stream. We had taken paddling stuff but it was too cold for that. We had taken a flask of hot chocolate and marshmallows and cookies... it was not too cold for that.

The others went for a little explore. I sat drawing the dry stone wall. It's one of those things where it is easy to cheat. But I was doing it for the mindful experience, I just wanted to get my head lost in looking at the detail of each stone and replicating it's shape and position. It worked well.

We walked back a slightly different way. The OS Maps app is brilliant as you can see exactly where you are on a map and if you are sticking to a path or not, even when it veers across a hillside.

We got back to the barn and Mark made us pizzas. I got the fire going as we all had damp trainers. Then after tea it was time for part VI...return of the Jedi.

This first part of the holiday was a gem. It had been planned as a stop to ease the journey to Skye - but it stood out on it's own as beautiful; a lovely place to stay, great things to do and overall a really welcoming and fun place.